This post originally appeared in August 2013.
I bet even Omnipotent, Omnipresent Oprah didn't see this coming. One of the world's wealthiest humans, while in Switzerland attending the wedding of her friend Tina Turner (yes, that Tina Turner), was given the brush-off by a boutique clerk in Zurich. Ohhhhhh so many angles to this story - where to begin??
- Americans everywhere read about this and said, Oh No You Didn't! Kind of shocking to realize there are actually people in the world who don't know who Oprah is. For a little perspective, how many of you would recognize this guy if he was in line behind you at Starbucks? >>>>>>
- If this snippy Swiss clerk is similar to retail clerks around the world, I'm guessing she was paid hourly and perhaps on commish. I say 'was', assuming this person was summarily dismissed after this story hit the fan. Hope she is lying awake at night missing her job and the commission she would have made on that $38,000 handbag she refused to show Oprah. Yes, $38,000.
- As I am blogging this I cannot find any definitive pix of the bag in question. Maybe something like this one, except in crocodile. Nice and all, but is it really worth two years of college tuition (which I happen to know about, since I am just now wrapping up paying for kid #2)?
- You don't have to be Oprah to be insulted when snippy clerks give you attitude. Two incidents come to mind. Once, more than 20 years ago while living in Texas, we took a road trip across the border into Matamoros, looking for bargains on Mexican silver jewelry, and of course, booze. I had my negotiating skills all polished up and ready for action, which took some polishing because I really, really hate negotiating for anything. But it was my understanding if I was going to practice haggling, this was the place. It was expected. So I put on my Big Girl Panties, found a shop with some great jewelry, and made an offer. The owner didn't even bother with me, just turned his back on me and left me standing there. It was not a matter of language barrier. He spoke English perfectly well until that point. I know what you are thinking, but, hey, it was a fair offer! The other time, I was in a discount rug warehouse (carpet, not toupee) near Charlotte, NC managed by some middle eastern folks who certainly seemed to know their stuff re carpets. A very nice gentleman showed me around. He was nice, that is, until he asked me what price range I was interested in. When I told him, he turned on his heel - literally leaned back slightly so that a little sliver of the heel of his run-down Payless beater loafers made just enough contact that he could literally spin zzzzt! and put me in the rear view - walked away from me, and sent what looked to be his 12-year-old son to come and deal with me instead. Keep in mind this was a big, unadorned discount warehouse in a rundown industrial park off I-77, not Neiman Freaking Marcus. The prices are supposed to be low, right? In both instances, I was mortified. In both instances, I left without buying anything. Oprah, I feel your pain. Oh, how I wish I had the resources, financial and otherwise, to extract sweet, sweet revenge on both of those yahoos. But I didn't then, and I don't now. The best I could do was leave with head held high, dignity somewhat intact, and nurture my outrage for decades until I had this chance to expose those inconsiderate, rude sunzabitches in a public shaming. What, me nurse a grudge??
- Speaking of crocodile, just because something is made of prehistoric reptile doesn't necessarily mean it should cost that much. It is almost time for the annual gator hunt here in South Carolina. You have to have a tag to hunt one legally. Tags costs $100. All you need is a tag, a gun and a boat, or a friend who is willing to share. Where the real cost comes in is curing/tanning the hide. It is time consuming and a little pricey, but way cheaper than paying retail!
I think we should invite Oprah to South Carolina this fall for the annual gator hunt. South Carolina doesn't have any crocodiles that I am aware of, but gator is close enough IMO. She could bag her own. We know she can easily afford the processing fees if she is willing to wait several months for the hide to cure. As soon as her new handbag is ready, her first stop should be that shop in Zurich, just to wave the DIY gator bag around and say 'nanny nanny boo boo' to that idiot clerk.
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