Got the cheery news via Parade Magazine that only 8% of New Year's resolutions, aka 'peacock vows', are successfully achieved. The nice folks at Parade are so sweet to phrase it like that. Of course that also means a 92% fail rate. To give more math spin on that paltry 8%:
- If you have 5 resolutions, you will make about 40% progress on ONE of them. The other four will fail.
- If you and 9 other friends make one resolution each, ONE of you will ALMOST succeed. The other nine will fail.
- In order to have a better chance at having at least one resolution succeed, you need to make approximately 13 resolutions.
It's news to me that resolutions are referred to as 'peacock vows' in some sectors. According to our friends at Wiki and elsewhere, committing to lofty goals for the new year in medieval times was validated by doing so while swearing on a peacock. Apparently peacocks were easier to find than bibles back then. Why peacocks, you ask? Peacocks' showy plumage symbolized the medieval version of pop culture fame. Tonier sorts showed their hipness by featuring the flashy birds in artwork or live. Also by plucking their feathers to be used in various garments and of course roasting and eating them on special occasions. Think Louis Vuitton logo meets 
Thanksgiving turkey. Knights used this annual 'Peacock Vow' ritual to renew their allegiance to chivalric virtues such as gallantry, courtesy, and service to others. Nowadays our goals are somewhat less lofty: lose ten pounds, pay off the five figure college loan, be kinder to the brother-in-law even though he is a complete doofus who makes Eddie Johnson look like Albert Einstein.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand which in case my meanderings have distracted you, is New Year's resolutions. By coincidence I also read this morning a hardly original but nevertheless amusing observation by tennis player Andy Murray: if he had the power of invisibility, he would like the type that makes OTHERS disappear. This got me thinking of how we often think in a herd mentality. We wander down the same path others have trod before us. Greener pastures may await if only we have the imagination to approach from a different angle. Applying that logic to the resolution situation opens up some alternatives with potentially greater probability of success.
- Easiest way to improve that 8% success rate (aka 92% fail rate) is to avoid making any resolutions whatsoever. Put another way, your New Year's resolution is to not make any resolutions. Zero resolutions = zero fail rate. Zero fail rate = 100% success rate, amirite??
- If you prefer something a little more tangible so that you can contribute to the inevitable January water cooler convos, try this one: start or stop doing something that you already do or don't do. My personal favorite is quitting smoking, because I don't smoke. 100% success rate, baby!
- Research indicates resolutions have a better chance of success if you make your goals public. That explains the guy robbing a Stop-N-Go last January with 'Get Out Of Debt' tattooed on his forehead.
I think part of the resolution problem is that they're the same old stuff every year - spend less, exercise more, stop shaving the dog into Sesame Street characters. Another alternative is something I blogged about here. Maybe we all need some fresh perspective. So rather than plan improvements to your own behavior, how about a 'resolution exchange' where we suggest resolutions for each other? I'll start. South Carolina Highway Patrol: starting next week, vow to 'pay it forward' by ignoring your radar guns if the driver is a middle-aged female in a black Honda CR-V. In exchange, I resolve to improve my driving habits by approximately 8%.
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